3 min readMay 3, 2018

Today I turned 49.

I’ll be honest, it’s not a number I have ever ever had an association with. Not a number I have ever thought to make friends with.

Each way I slice and dice it….4+9 . Or 1+3. Or 1yr away from 50…still no association.

However I have a deep relationship to so many things 49 years have brought and taught me. So many learnings I am deeply grateful for, no matter how long they took to learn, or how many times I may have fallen flat on my face in the process of learning them. So, I’ll reverse engineer my friendship with my new age and work with it the that seems natural.. that is to honor a few handfuls of the life lessons that these years (decades!) have taught me.

  • There is nothing like lifelong friends. Cherish them, keep in touch, do not disappear. You will find that not only will they be your memory when you forget, they will love you always, and most often, laugh at all of your bad jokes.
  • Family first, last and always. Blood runs thick.
  • Answer the phone when you know the person calling needs to hear your voice.
  • True love is like lightning. True lust is like water. Learn the difference, and make your choices wisely.
  • Courage — when you taste it, don’t give up. Keep moving with it.. LIFE OPENS UP!
  • It’s never too late to let love in. It’s never too late to let someone love the real you. And it’s never ever too late in the day to tell the people you love that you love them.
  • Limiting Beliefs.. We all have them.. Once you spot them, do your best to not let them take over. When you can, acknowledge them, smile and put them all in the backseat.
  • Worthiness, Recognition and Belonging — These are as essential as oxygen.
  • Touch, Love, Tenderness and Gratitude.. These are even more essential.
  • It’s OK to be a late Bloomer!!! Be patient, your time will come.
  • MUSIC… find what moves you and crank it up!
  • Bow down to each sunset, moonrise and dawn… Bow down, rise up and give thanks!
  • Happiness is your right! And it is a choice!
  • Forgive yourself. Shame is a KILLER, A real Killer of the soul.. If you can’t kick it, find someone to work it out with.. Do not let it take you down. YOU are bigger than it is.
  • Never ever let someone steal your sunshine. There will be people who feel the need to do so… detach from them and walk into the light.
  • Find stillness somewhere.. A mountain top, an ashram, in a yoga pose or riding a wave.. Find it somewhere and leave crumbs so you know the way back if you ever get lost.
  • Pause enough to look and see the goodness in others. Do this on purpose. Take time to listen. And be curious.
  • Your body is built to move and your lungs are made to work… A healthy body will carry you farther than you would ever think possible.
  • As my Nana told me, SAY YES!
  • Move abroad at least once… and if that’s not an option, TRAVEL. Hit the road and don’t forget to look up!
  • Find a career that is not a job. Find what turns you on and lights you up and makes you want to get out of bed daily!
  • Be the Leader you know you are! It’s a choice, its not a title.
  • Keep the past in the past. Truer words never spoken.
  • You am I and I am you. We are all the same. With that, there is no judgement.
  • It’s one thing to listen, and another thing to listen and act… take action, without it there is no motion and there will be no outcome.
  • You don’t get points for holding back.
  • For God Sake, don’t take yourself so seriously… we are all in this together. So laugh a lot, and in the words of my brother, dance as though no one was watching!

“It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. It’s a new life for me. And I’m feeling good.” -Nina Simone


Heart Leader. First Chief Heart Officer. @VaynerMedia. Emotional Optimist! Always have a song in my head!